Now it’s a major event deciding which toothpaste to select from the long, multicolored mouth-care isle at my local drug store. Do I want fluoride, or whitening, or tartar control? Or, should I go for sensitivity relief? With minty bad-breath control, or regular flavor? The kids’ version offered bubblegum flavor in bright pink. So, I purchased it for fun and variety.
Choosing a tooth brush used to be a matter of which color I wanted that wouldn’t be confused with another family member’s brush. I remember if there were more than five members in your family, the others would have to indicate his or her brushes with distinctive marks; because red, green, yellow, blue and clear were the only choices.
Now it’s not just a matter of which fashionable color to select, but which color combination. The two or three-tone brushes are quite attractive and are form-fitted to various hand shapes. Maybe I need to carry mine around in my pocket to show my friends how trendy I am and to add a spark to my wardrobe.
Deciding if I want the soft, medium, or hard bristles adds still another decision to the already-tedious business of keeping my teeth in my head. According to the packages, these magical wands can reach every molar, exercise the gums, and/or clean tongues.
I picture a group of white-jacketed toothbrush engineers sitting around a laboratory all day inventing the various slants, lengths, and configurations of the bristles. Then, at the end of the day, all of them meeting at the local bar and laughing about how they’re tormenting all of us innocent consumers. The next thing I know, they’ll be taking orders for custom-designed brushes for each of our mouths; all in an array of our favorite colors and shapes. Perhaps there will be the “Rolls Royce”, fashioned in chrome with a stylish leather-cushioned handle.
After much deliberation, I decided on two different brushes for myself. I liked the multi-colored one that had the little rubber thing-a-ma-bobs that clean the tongue, and the solid red that reminded me of my childhood brush. I had that one for years. Now my dentist tells me I need to select a new brush at least every two months and toss the old one. Being a frugal person, I usually keep the old ones around for cleaning the crevices in my tile or other tedious cleaning activities. I even have one to brush my eyebrows. That’s my real favorite, a bright green with stiff bristles.
Recently I was informed it’s an absolute must to use an electronic teeth cleaning device. I found that large display in another area of the mouth-care isle. After twenty minutes of careful study, I selected the model that is easily recharged and vibrates for timed two-minute sessions. I like the tiny brush part because it is removable and can be replaced every two months just like my regular brushes. I opted for this particular, somewhat pricey, model because it’s a pleasing light blue with a white stripe. It makes a nice compliment to my manual brush collection. It also has a pretty case for travel.
My dentist told me it’s important to first, brush my teeth for two minutes, and then massage my gums for another two minutes twice a day. Isn’t it enough I’ve spent an hour and a small fortune shopping for supplies? At my last dental hygienist cleaning, I sat speechless, mouth wide open with a plastic teeth-shaped chemical-filled bowl inserted over my teeth. The teeth-whitening solution had to soak my teeth until they appeared as white as the wind driven snow. I was told this procedure would take a good twenty years off my age. And, I do know that it took a good sum of hard earned moolah out of my bank account.
Woops! I almost forgot the dental floss! I wanted to forget the floss because I just hate flossing. I do it because I am riddled with guilt if I don’t include that process once a day in my teeth preservation activities. If I don’t floss, my semi-annual visits to my dentist are not only painful, but also embarrassing. “Ms. Strauss, you have a few angry places around two teeth. I don’t understand how this can happen if you are daily flosser.” “Perhaps you are not slanting your new electronic brush correctly.”
As I ponder the conversations with my dentist and hygienist, I wonder if having all my teeth replaced with dentures wouldn’t be easier, more efficient, cheaper, and far less painful than all the required daily care. That way I’d be guaranteed to display a nice set of pearly whites as I spin around the retirement home, grinning wildly in my motorized wheel chair.
