December 9
I wonder if other people facing serious surgery or medical treatments react like I am.
I am motivated, in high gear, cleaning closets and drawers, getting my will updated, throwing out and organizing all the papers and bills. I don’t think I’m pessimistic, but in case I am unable to take care of things, or die, I don’t want a mess waiting for my family.
The truth is any of us could die at any time. We live like we’ll be here forever.
I have several home improvement projects I want to do so I’m doing them. That’s the most brilliant or stupid thing I am rushing to do. I’ve bumped along writing a book of family stories for three years and I want to get it to the publisher this month. It’s almost ready, only lacking a few old family photos I want to include.
I re-saw the movie “Bucket List” reminding me, “now or never” – get whatever I want done NOW. I realize I don’t have a long list of places I want to go. I care nothing about jumping out of an airplane or climbing Mt. Everest.
Are my goals what they should be? Or, am I going to be sorry I didn’t take a quick trip to Rome? When I went to Rome it was at the end of a long cruise and I was so tired I didn’t see much of the city. I always thought I’d like to go to Africa and see the Serengeti migration. I’ll put that on my list but know I won’t get that done before the surgery.
There is much in the immediate area to do and see. I want to go to Jack London Square in Oakland to hear some jazz and to stroll around. I think I’ll start there.
I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.
Jack London
